,,,,,,,,<==>
#You Are A Digg Editor<h1>
A fun game about working for a website.
[[Hello<-Let's play.]]You look down at yourself. You're wearing comfortable, but work-appropriate clothes. Your jeans are clean and cuffed. Your sneakers are nice but slightly worn. Your shirt is a perfect balance between "English teacher" and "Someone who must live in Idaho." (In a good way.)
The moment you notice this, suddenly everything about you makes sense. Of course this is your body, your style. How silly to think otherwise!
Still, something feels… off.
[[Where am I?]]You're seated at a long table with six other people. It's very clearly a conference room, and you're in a meeting.
Just as you put this together, you suddenly realize why you're sitting here — like you had always known and just momentarily forgot. How strange!
[[Who are these people?]]In the moments of your awakening — a daydream maybe? — the room falls silent. Everyone is now staring at you. You sit there, blinking.
These are? Your coworkers. Yes, that's right. Coworkers. And you all work… at <a href="http://digg.com" target="_blank">Digg</a>. Right. (Wait that still exists?) You blink some more. The collective staring is starting to morph into uncomfortable impatience.
It's very clear that you're supposed to say something right now. But what? You open your mouth.
"I've pulled together our end-of-year post."
[["It's looking great."]](if: $finished is 1)[It's Tuesday, November 13]
Your coworkers are visibly frustrated with you and that really hurts. Everyone has been busting their ass just trying to keep this website running, and it seems like all that time you've spent working on this end-of-year post is coming up as a big fat goose egg. Way to go.
You don't want let them down. It's really important that you don't let them down. So you open your mouth again.
"You know what? I'm really sorry, but I'm tired. I'm just so tired. [[I have to go.]]"
"Here's what I'm thinking: [[dogs]]"
"Let's [[give the people what they want.]]"
(set: $choices to 4)
(set: $videos to 0)
(set: $longreads to 0)
(set: $blogs to 0)
(set: $musk to 0)
(set: $fortnite to 0)
(set: $idw to 0)
(set: $millennials to 0)
(set: $gritty to 0)
(set: $news to 0)
(set: $brands to 0)
(set: $yannylaurel to 0)
(set: $scam to 0)
(set: $illusions to 0)
(set: $facebooktwitter to 0)
(set: $media to 0)
(set: $diggscore to 0)
(set: $choice1 to 0)
(set: $choice2 to 0)
(set: $choice3 to 0)
(set: $choice4 to 0)The room suddenly feels very small. What are you even doing here?
You stand up, and look at everyone. On their faces is a mix of confusion, concern and anger.
You remember. You remember being paralyzed by the tweets spilling as yet another national tragedy unfolds, unable to look away because that's your job. You remember strangers shouting at you over email, because you were lightly critical of a billionare. You remember crumpling into a puddle after getting home one night because, Christ, how is anyone supposed to process this much trauma and still write and draw enough traffic to justify even having a job in the first place?
[[You stammer<-You sit back down.]] "I'm sorry. Let me start over again."
"I can't do this anymore." [[You leave the room.]]"It's truly been a rough year. Who here wants to relive it?" you ask. Everyone gives you blank stares.
"People come to Digg dot com every day to get the best of what's on the web," you continue. Everyone in the room knows this already. "But, honestly, is there anything 2018 has offered that's better than dogs?"
You pull up some dog videos onto the conference room TV, but not before it takes you a good 5 minutes to get it working. This recieves a mix of enthusiastic nodding and concerned brow-furrowing.
"Oh, I'm just kidding." [[You stammer<-You close your computer.]]
"What I propose is simple: [[The Year In Dogs]]."There's no need to reinvent the wheel. You have the tools, time and talent to assemble a faithful recap of the year 2018 on Digg dot com.
Just as you're about to ask yourself what that is, the answer smacks itself into your brain.
Three straightforward sections: Best Videos, Best Long Reads and Best Originals.
And four trends sections that use the power of curation to make a statement about what it was like to be online this year. This, of course, is the hardest part but also where you show the world that you know what the heck is going on.
Are you ready to unveil your masterstroke on your coworkers? [[Heck yes.->Let's start with Best Videos]]Oh wow, you just did that! You're out. Gone. You close your eyes and let out a deep and tremendous sigh. You know people say this a lot, but it honestly feels like the first day of the rest of your life.
But you look back at the conference room door.
A pang of guilt shoots through your gut.
You can't just abandon your coworkers like that. [[You stammer<-You head back into the room.]]
They'll manage, you think to yourself. In fact, they'll probably do a better job than you. You leave the office, step outside and [[You're gone<-breathe in the fresh, cool air.]]The next thing you know you find yourself at the door of your apartment. How did you even get home? Oh my goodness, you walked the whole way home, didn't you? Your mind reeling with infinite possibility, you didn't even notice.
You quickly pack a bag and jump on the next bus headed north. Amber lights give way to seemingly endless wildnerness.
You get off the bus and step into what seems like another universe.
[[You pop into the local watering hole.]]Genuinely concerned that you're enjoying a drink by yourself, a hearty but weathered man introduces himself and draws you into the fold.
You let it all out. Everyone is listening. You feel heard.
He knows it's not much, but the man offers you some work on his farm. Just until you get your head straight.
[[You gladly accept<-You gladly accept.]]A few weeks later, you're standing ankle-deep in mud, trying to wrangle some pigs. Trying to get one into another pen, you trip and and fall face-down in the slop.
You pick yourself up, absolutely caked in muck and reeking of shit. But the sun is out and the sky is blue. Nothing could wipe the massive grin off your face.
You get into bed that night and sleep the sleep of the dead. [[And then you wake up.->You stammer]]
(set: $finished to 1)You explain that it will not just be dog videos. But multiple categories of dog videos. The best pictures of dogs. The best stories about dogs. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs.
Everyone is now chanting DOGS. DOGS. DOGS.
"Ah, it'd be fun, but I don't think we should actually do this." You quickly close the 10 dog video tabs you have open, [[You stammer<-and get back on track.]]
[[DOGS.]]You spend the next two weeks blissfully immersed in the dog internet. You ask yourself, "What did we ever do to deserve dogs?" at least five times a day.
A month later, you finally have what you think is the most comprehensive compendium of dog content ever assembeled. It's a gamble, sure, but you think the power of dogs will finally bust this website back into the mainstream.
The day to unleash this puppy on the unwitting masses of the internet arrives.
[[You hit 'publish' on The Year In Dogs.->You hit 'Publish' on the Year In Dogs]]You take a sip of your coffee, and wait to see the traffic come rolling in.
Hm, is the website broken? A tweet from the Digg account sharing the post seems to be getting a bunch of replies. You open the tweet.
It's literally 700 people replying, "You should have called this Dogg."
You go to bed that night constantly repeating the famous Wayne Gretzy truism: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." [[And then you wake up.->You stammer]]
(set: $finished to 1)Oh wow! You just said that. You just opened your mouth and those words came out.
Of course you're working on the end-of-year post for Digg dot com. And you've got some exciting updates you'd like to share with the team. An entire year on the Internet, distilled into a single post.
You open your mouth again, but your brain feels… fuzzy. Before, the who, where and what just snapped into place. But now there are multiple, uh, realities fighting inside your head.
[[You stammer]] and let out a long "ahmmmmmm" while staring up at the ceiling. Everyone loves a good internet video. And Digg? Digg has the best internet videos.
But there are so many types of good internet videos. Which ones do you pick?
(set: $videos to 0)
[[Play it by the numbers<-Play it by the numbers.]]
[[Animals<-Animals.]]
[[People<-People.]]With video, it's hard to beat the wisdom of the crowd: Whatever clicked best is, if not one of the best videos of the year, certainly among the most memorable or inescapable.
Thankfully, 2018 had plenty of viral moments that, knock on wood, will be worth commemorating for years to come.
<a href="http://digg.com/video/weather-channel-reporter-hurricane-florence-wind" target="_blank">Weather Channel Reporter Acts Like Hurricane Is About To Blow Him Over... While Two Dudes Casually Stroll By In The Background</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/video/eagles-fan-subway-pole" target="_blank">Drunk Eagles Fan Gets Absolutely Obliterated By A Subway Pole</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/brett-kavanaugh-pulp-fiction" target="_blank">Someone Mashed Up Brett Kavanaugh's Testimony With The Hamburger Scene From 'Pulp Fiction' And It's Perfect</a>
(set: $videos to 1)
[[Now onto Best Long Reads<-Yeah, let's go with the top performing videos.]]
[[Let's start with Best Videos<-What other spin could we put on it?]]We post so many good animal videos every year that it's honestly a shame we haven't dedicated the Best Videos section to their kingdom before. Here are three more reasons why we should devote the section to animals:
1. Plenty of animals are cute, and everyone loves a cute animal.
2. Many animals that are not cute could kick our asses, and we should fear them.
3. With very few exceptions (we're looking at you, Selfie Monkey), animals have to rely on humans to capture their very best #content, so you could argue animals are underrepresented online… cats and dogs aside. How about that reasoning?
<a href="http://digg.com/video/lion-vs-hyenas-bbc-earth" target="_blank">Incredible BBC Earth Footage Of A Lion Facing Off With Over 20 Hyenas</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/video/monkey-100-foot-jump" target="_blank">Monkey Casually Jumps Off The Top Of A 100-Foot Tower</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/video/tug-of-war-lion-zoo" target="_blank">Three Pro Wrestlers Play Tug Of War With A 2.5-Year-Old Lion Cub, Do Not Even Come Close To Winning</a>
(set: $videos to 2)
[[Now onto Best Long Reads<-Give the video section to the animals.]]
[[Let's start with Best Videos<-`Are animals videos really part of our "brand"?`]]For better or worse, algorithms be damned, what satisfies internet users' unceasing demands for content is other people. The purest version of that transaction, as "America's Funniest Home Videos" understood decades ago, is video of people behaving in a stupid manner.
To err is human, which means videos of people making bad decisions is basically the only kind of lightning-in-a-bottle click fodder that can potentially be captured by anyone, or even by total accident.
We should give the people what they want: the videos of other people that are so outrageous you instinctually go, "Well, at least I'm not in their shoes."
<a href="http://digg.com/video/in-my-feelings-challenge-hit-by-car" target="_blank">Guy Gets Out Of His Car To Do 'In My Feelings' Challenge, Immediately Gets Hit By Another Car</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/video/most-unflattering-swimsuit" target="_blank">Man Buys His Girlfriend The Most Unflattering Swimsuit Of All Time</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/video/guy-sniffs-chloroform" target="_blank">Guy Sniffs Chloroform To See If It Really Knocks You Out, And, Well…</a>
(set: $videos to 3)
[[Let's extend these folks' 15 seconds of infamy.->Now onto Best Long Reads]]
[[We can't include these — what if something even funnier comes along before January 1?->Let's start with Best Videos]]Ambitious, compelling, flashy and, most importantly, long, feature stories are often the media industry at its best. Looking back on a year when hundreds of thousands of words were spilled in the name of narrative nonfiction, you can't help but feel a little proud of the industry you work in.
There are just so many great stories out there, and so many more to tell, it's hard to imagine the media industry collapsing. Won't people always just want to read a good story?
So, how are you going celebrate the time-honored tradition of taking 10 to 15 minutes to read something on the internet? (set: $longreads to 0)
Once again, you interpret best as "most popular." You decide to [[also play it by the numbers]].
There's a good chance that everywhere else is going to pick the same long reads, so you [[rack your brain for hidden gems]].
A lot of time, money and effort was spent producing our own feature stories. Why not throw your features editor a bone and [[devote the section to Digg's own long reads]].There's something to be said for acknowledging the taste of your readers. And if you're trying to pull together a greatest hits of longform writing, what's better than going with the ones people clicked on?
<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2018/nov/23/world-ploughing-championships-no-till-farming" target="_blank">Field Of Dreams: Heartbreak And Heroics At The World Ploughing Championships</a>
<a href="http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/03/13-reasons-to-believe-aliens-are-real.htm" target="_blank">13 Reasons To Believe Aliens Are Real</a>
<a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-06-26/how-to-steal-50-million-bees" target="_blank">How To Steal 50 Million Bees</a>
(set: $longreads to 1)
[[Our best blogs<-Yeah that looks about right.]]
[[Now onto Best Long Reads<-You know, you're beginning to doubt your readers' taste in longform journalism.]] Sure, people come to Digg dot com to see What The Internet Is Talking About, but they also come to see what the internet isn't talking about — great stories from smaller publishers, cool essays from niche corners of the web, you know, the stuff that algorithms elsewhere don't pick up.
Everyone already knows that places like the New York Times, Bloomberg Businessweek and New York Magazine all produce some of the best writing online, so why not surprise them with some equally good work that, for whatever reason, never got the attention it deserved.
<a href="https://daily.jstor.org/the-unbearable-sadness-of-toast/" target="_blank">The Unbearable Sadness Of Toast</a>
<a href="https://theoutline.com/post/5677/video-game-canon-underrated-alternate" target="_blank">The Greatest Video Games No One Ever Talks About</a>
<a href="https://www.topic.com/postcards-from-the-edge" target="_blank">Postcards From The Edge Of The Berkley Pit</a>
(set: $longreads to 2)
[[Our best blogs<-Yeah, people will realize they've been sleeping on so much great stuff, they'll have no choice but to sit on Digg.com all day and smash that refresh button.]]
[[Now onto Best Long Reads<-You know, maybe deep cuts just aren't the way to go here.]] Did you know that Digg publishes its own long reads? Of course you do. You're a Digg editor, after all.
They're stories about the internet, which your readers love. But they disappear from the Digg homepage after a day or so — which the features editor does not love.
So why not do them a solid and recognize their hard work over the past year?
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/decorative-letter-pranks" target="_blank">Why The Internet Loves Big Decorative Letters</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/angel-solution-melanie-beckler" target="_blank">Why A Million People Follow A Woman Who Says She's Channeling The Archangels</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/sold-out-beauty-products" target="_blank">The One Weird Trick Of The Beauty Industry</a>
(set: $longreads to 3)
[[Our best blogs<-Yes, they most definitely deserve this. Definitely. For sure.]]
[[Now onto Best Long Reads<-On second thought...]] Whew, you did it. You carefully curated and wrote an entire end-of-year post. Congrats!
Care to review it?
[[Fuck it, ship it.->Hit publish]]Elon Musk had an interesting year.
How could there not be a section on all things Musk? From the successful <a href="http://digg.com/2018/space-x-two-rocket-landing-falcon-heavy" target=_blank">dual landing of the Falcon 9 boosters</a> to… well, the corresponding Tesla that's floating in space, Musk selling "not" flamethrowers, Musk <a href="http://digg.com/2018/elon-musk-pedo" target=_blank">calling a heroic diver a pedophile</a>, Musk dating Grimes, Musk <a href="http://digg.com/video/elon-musk-weed-rogan" target="_blank">smoking weed on The Joe Rogan Experience</a>, Musk being ousted as Tesla's chairman <a href="http://digg.com/2018/elon-musk-tesla-private-sec-trouble" target="_blank">because he made a $420 joke…</a>
… shit, that's not even half of it. There's all the <a href="https://theconcourse.deadspin.com/visionary-brain-genius-elon-musk-has-invented-the-world-1831210269" target="_blank">embarrassing tunnel boring business</a>, Azealia Banks roasting Musk, Musk having no clue how "off the record" works, that kerfuffle with the Tesla whistleblower, Musk's ongoing union busting… and we can't forget his recent <a href="http://digg.com/2018/elon-musk-40-hour-work-week" target="_blank">foolish comments about the 40-hour work week.</a>
Surely, the end-of-year post has got to include him?
(link: "*Bad Italian accent* Ayy! Put da wacky billionaire in the post! Gabagool")[\
(set: $musk to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'musk')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'musk')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'musk')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'musk')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "Eh, there are still other options worth considering.")[\
(set: $musk to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section]")\
]Gritty is the mascot 2018 deserves.
Ah, Gritty. Can you believe this orange, buckwild antifa supersoldier only came into our lives at the end of September?
It already feels like we've known Gritty for a lifetime, and that's not just social media's odd perceptual compression of time at work: in crafting the hockey mascot, the geniuses employed by the Philadelphia Flyers came up with an entire backstory for Gritty. In a way we have been around Gritty for more than a few months — Gritty's popularity is a distilled form of appreciation for Philadelphia's often unruly-yet-infectious hometown pride.
In short, Gritty would absolutely lick the Crisco off a lamppost before clambering up it to shake… whatever's going on with Gritty's waistline. Clearly, Gritty belongs in any 2018 retrospective worth its salt, yes?
(link: "The orange monster goes in the post.")[\
(set: $gritty to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'gritty')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'gritty')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'gritty')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'gritty')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "Let's circle back to this option later.")[\
(set: $gritty to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]Help us budget, our industry is dying.
Not to get all high-and-mighty, but from its first incarnation through to today, Digg has been a place for highlighting good shit online… which has never, ever been as straightforward as it might sound.
As web publishing evolved from something glorious weirdos did in webrings and newspapers did on the side as a lark into an industry with real legs (propped up by bloggers sitting on their asses in front of a laptop), Digg was there to signal boost the cream of the crop. Ditto today, as the state of online media — okay, media in general — looks increasingly dire with each day's dire headlines about poor engagement, failing business models and horrifying layoffs.
Every time a website is shuttered or, perhaps worse, an exec decides to "pivot" to whatever pricey, lowest-common denominator fad a "FAANG" company is popularizing, the amount of good, Digg-worthy stuff out there shrinks. Maybe if everyone loses their media job there'll still be posts and articles worth showing on Digg, made for free or for Medium claps or paid for by a non-media company that actually wants to sell you a subscription box.
Hopefully it won't ever come to that. Plenty of ways to make money in the world, right?
(link: "This impacts how Digg operates at a fundamental level, it goes in the post.")[\
(set: $media to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'media')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'media')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'media')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'media')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "Just, ugh, fuck. This is too depressing. Maybe something else?")[\
(set: $media to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]A crazy thing happened this year at Digg dot com: blogging.
When you're looking at the internet all day, sometimes it's easy to see when the internet is NOT talking about something. This year, the Digg staff realized that they could... just blog about it. A very novel concept!
And over the course of 2018, you and your coworkers produced some absolute zingers. Real quality blogs.
The thing is, "just doing more blogs," yielded... well, let's say a broad spectrum of things. You'd love to highlight it all, but it probably makes sense to package it into a coherent, easy-to-categorize, thing.
What do you do? (set: $blogs to 0)
[[Earnest<-Once again, play the hits.]]
[[Meme Reporting<-Focus on memes.]]
[[Goof-off<-Make it weird.]]"Fortnite" was definitely a thing.
You've seen it everywhere. In the headlines. In kids spontanously floss dancing while their parents wait in line to pay for their grocieries. Even Bill Simmons could not resist streaming some while talking about the NFL week 13 matchups.
Not acknowledge the year's most popular video game, and arguably biggest cultural phenomenon, would be silly, right?
But dedicating an entire section to "Fortnite" would be stating the obvious, wouldn't it? Teens — if they do happen to read Digg dot com — would roll their eyes, and adults would just skip over yet another recap of "That fork knife thing."
<a href="http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/07/how-fortnite-became-the-most-popular-video-game-on-earth.html" target="_blank">How 'Fortnite' Became The Most Popular Video Game On Earth</a>
<a href="https://www.techspot.com/news/77025-how-everyday-guy-makes-500000-year-playing-fortnite.html" target="_blank">How An Everyday Guy Makes $500,000 A Year Playing Fortnite</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/video/lacrosse-coach-hypes-team-fortnite" target="_blank">Lacrosse Coach Energizes His Team With An Epic 'Fortnite'-Themed Speech</a>
(link: "Hop aboard the Battle Bus.")[\
(set: $fortnite to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'fortnite')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'fortnite')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'fortnite')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'fortnite')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "Nah.")[\
(set: $fortnite to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]Weird Brand Twitter is CANCELLED.
All the brands want is for you to be their friend. The world is harsh and all they're trying to do is provide a small ray of sunshine amongst the toxic morass of the internet. And if you happen to go to your local grocery store and just so happen to find yourself buying a package of pre-sliced frozen steak fillets, that's cool too.
Everyone is trying to sell you something. And brands on Twitter, however "weird" and personable they may be, are no different.
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/steak-umm-twitter-brand" target="_blank">The Uneasy Comfort Of Brands On Twitter</a>
<a href="https://theoutline.com/post/6698/brandless-brands-instagram-ads-capitalism?zd=1&zi=djx6nvsm" target="_blank">What A Brandless Brand Is Selling You</a>
<a href="https://www.gq.com/story/mcdonalds-merch-wow-not-bad" target="_blank">Even McDonalds Is Making Merch Now</a>
Time to finally go to war with the brands?
(link: "Go off king.")[\
(set: $brands to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'brands')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'brands')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'brands')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'brands')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "This ain't it chief.")[\
(set: $brands to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]The Intellectual Dork Web.
Unfortunately for everyone, a handful of large media outlets have flattered one undistinguished academic figure with profiles and attention — all because he struck gold telling angry, racist men that they should clean their rooms.
In what might be the Biggest False Equivalence Ever, we're now stuck in the unenviable position of acknowleding a small subset of YouTubers who love spending two hours "debating" bone structure and using psuedo-intellectual phrases like "Postmodern Neo-Marxism."
The tech giants should have deplatformed these idiots long before we got to here, but regardless, it's worth educating the public and trusting they're perfectly capable of deciding for themselves. Right?
<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/18/style/jordan-peterson-12-rules-for-life.html" target="_blank">Jordan Peterson, Custodian Of The Patriarchy</a>
<a href="https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/the-intellectual-dark-web-is-nothing-new/#!" target="_blank">The 'Intellectual Dark Web' Is Nothing New</a>
<a href="https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/josephbernstein/lane-davis-ralph-retort-seattle4truth-alt-right" target="_blank">Alt-Right Troll To Father Killer: The Unraveling Of Lane Davis</a>
(link: "The Intellectual Dork Web. I love it.")[\
(set: $idw to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'idw')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'idw')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'idw')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'idw')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "We're better off linking To A ContraPoints video.")[\
(set: $idw to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]Try to sum up the news in 2018 without going insane.
What happened in the world in 2018? Well...
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/iran-nuclear-deal-trump-analysis" target="_blank">Donald Trump pulled out of the Iran nuclear deal</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/gay-wedding-cake-supreme-court-decision-masterpiece-cakeshop" target="_blank">The Supreme Court sided with the baker who refused to make a gay wedding cake</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/space-force-trump" target="_blank">Trump created the "Space Force"</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/trumps-family-separation-policy-whats-going-on" target="_blank">Our government separted some 30,000 children from their familes</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/epa-asbestos-trump" target="_blank">The EPA arguably loosened restrictions on asbestos</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/hurricane-florence-updates" target="_blank">Hurricane Florence killed 17 and devestated the Carolinas</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/brett-kavanaugh-christine-blasey-ford-testimony" target="_blank">The Kavanaugh confirmation hearings happened</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/jamal-khashoggi-disappearance" target="_blank">A journalist for an American paper was kidnapped and dismembered and the current administration did nothing</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/obama-clinton-bombs-mail" target="_blank">A Trump supporter mailed bombs to political figures Trump named as enemies.</a>. <a href="http://digg.com/2018/midterm-election-results-analysis" target="_blank">The midterm elections, well, happened</a>.
And that's just from what you can remember off the top of your head. Just from the past six months.
(link: "This is absolutely necessary. We can't just ignore that things in the world happenend this year.")[\
(set: $news to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'news')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'news')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'news')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'news')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "Aren't we better off just focusing on the good stuff?")[\
(set: $news to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]Millennials are killing everything boomers love.
For years now, there has been one story no headline writer could resist: a trend piece about changing tastes of a generation framed as a deliberate act of violence against cultural norms. The Millennial just cannot stop killing.
Of course, the killings are only limited to the inconsequential — canned tuna, country clubs and American cheese. No one ever accuses them of killing affordable education or homeownership.
<a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-10-10/american-cheese-is-no-longer-america-s-big-cheese" target="_blank">Millennials Kill Again. The Latest Victim? American Cheese</a>
<a href="https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/end-of-pbr-pabst-hipsters" target="_blank">How Millennial Hipsters Revitalized — And Likely Destroyed — PBR</a>
<a href="https://www.citylab.com/life/2018/07/will-millennials-kill-the-country-club/563186/" target="_blank">Will Millennials Kill The Country Club?</a>
<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/03/business/canned-tuna-millennials.html" target="_blank">Big Tuna Finds A Scapegoat: Millennials</a>
(link: "Hopefully THIS millennial can finally kill this headline trend.")[\
(set: $millennials to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'millennials')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'millennials')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'millennials')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'millennials')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "If I hear one more joke about avocado toast...")[\
(set: $millennials to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]Remember Yanny/Laurel?
Yeah, that happened this year. Yanny. Laurel. Good stuff.
Remember the last time you could have a passionate no-stakes argument about something infinitely inconsequential? Yeah, that was May of this year.
You can't not include it, right?
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/yanny-laurel-which-is-it" target="_blank">The 'Yanny'/'Laurel' Aural Illusion Is Tearing The Internet Apart</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/do-you-see-yanny-or-laurel" target="_blank">The Internet Has Now Given Us A Visual Version Of 'Yanny'/'Laurel,' And It Actually Works?</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/brainstorm-or-green-needle" target="_blank">Now The 'Brainstorm'/'Green Needle' Auditory Illusion Is Breaking Our Brains</a>
<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2018/05/whats-up-with-all-these-viral-illusions/560693/" target="_blank">What's Up With All These Viral Illusions?</a>
(link: "Yanny")[\
(set: $yannylaurel to 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'yannylaurel')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'yannylaurel')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'yannylaurel')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'yannylaurel')]\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "Laurel")[\
(set: $yannylaurel to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]Despite Digg never being a traditional publisher, you look back on the body of work your coworkers have produced this year and realize, dang, we put out some of the funniest, insightful commentary on how humans use the internet. Some real heaters.
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/how-different-countries-laugh-online" target="_blank">I Say LOL, You Say Ek Number: How People Around The World Laugh Online</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/coib-daily-dose-new-york-citys-best-twitter-account" target="_blank">The Twitter Account Of NYC's Municipal Ethics Board Is One Of The Few Good Things On The Internet</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/dressing-as-friend-for-halloween-american-vandal-bullying" target="_blank">Is It Okay To Dress Up As A Friend For Halloween?</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/swan-boy-comics-branson-reese" target="_blank">'Swan Boy' Is Basically The Webcomic Version Of 'Seinfeld,' And It's Perfect</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/i-want-to-log-off" target="_blank">I Want To Log Off</a>
(set: $blogs to 1)
[[Hey great job everyone. We did it.->Tackle the trends section]]
[[Maybe this comes off as too smug?->Our best blogs]]If everyone loves memes, then it should follow that everyone also loves smart commentary on memes, right?
Of course! You're not the only ones out there doing it, but you're doing it in a way that's feels like it's contributing to the discussion and not just adding to it.
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/avengers-infinity-war-meme-disintegration-how-to-cry-hard" target="_blank">How To Make Your Own Version Of That Sad 'Avengers' Dust Meme</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/american-chopper-meme" target="_blank">How American Chopper, And Other Preferential Memes, Took Over The Internet</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/spongebob-memes-timeline-krusty-krab-chum-bucket" target="_blank">The Internet Loves 'SpongeBob SquarePants' Memes, But Why?</a>
And that's to be recognized, right?
(set: $blogs to 2)
[[Seize the memes of production baby!->Tackle the trends section]]
[[You crazy for this one.->Our best blogs]] End-of-year posts are chock-full of smart, important writing, but you know what? Some of the best writing on the internet is neither smart nor important.
Sometimes you just get something lodged into your brain and you have to blog it out. This, arguably, is the most pure form of blogging, and maybe the most honest.
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/knickers-the-big-australian-cow)" target="_blank">This Cow Is HUGE</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/oklahoma-quarter-bird-man" target="_blank">Oklahoma's State Quarter Has An Inspiring Hidden Image If You Just Rotate It</a>
<a href="http://digg.com/2018/gucci-stained-jeans-coffee-soiled-yourself" target="_blank">It's Friday: Here Are Some Very Bad Jeans To Consider Over The Weekend</a>
Should we have a little fun?
(set: $blogs to 3)
[[Yes. I love fun. I'm a fun person.->Tackle the trends section]]
[[Hm, interesting... *pauses for 15 minutes*.->Our best blogs]]It's now the morning of December 21. You wake up early and the first thing you do is check the content management system to see how your nice little 2018: The Year In Digg post is doing.
|videos>[video ending]
|longreads>[long reads ending]
|blogs>[blogs ending]
|trend1>[first trend]
|trend2>[second trend]
|trend3>[third trend]
|trend4>[fourth trend]
(if: $news is 0)[(display: "news ending")]
[[Oh, wow. ->The End]]
(if: $videos is 1)[(replace:?videos)[**You chose to play it by the numbers for Best Videos** Good news: readers were quite pleased with the Best Video section.
Surprisingly, one stan for that Weather Channel reporter tracked down your email to complain that our take on the video is unfair `("hes standing on slick grass & those other guys are on a dry sidewalk you ******s")`.
On the other hand, a bunch of Minnesota Vikings and Philadelphia Eagles fans shared the post on Facebook, so we'll call it a win.]]
(if: $videos is 2)[(replace:?videos)[**You chose animals for Best Videos** The animal videos did okay, but we courted some troll comments from people who like to retweet PETA (ugh) and one guy put a spin on "Digg still exists?" by saying he thought we'd been hunted to extinction a long time ago.
Which, yeah, it's sorta funny.
But still, ouch. Not cool.]]
(if: $videos is 3)[(replace:?videos)[**You chose people for Best Videos** Because the people making bad decisions in this year's Best Video section were all men, some dudes accused us of being misandrist… which honestly felt like flashback to the pre-2016 era of online outrage, to be honest.
Like, c'mon, if that's the hill you're going to die on shouldn't you be too busy doxxing people and journaling about your all-meat diet on a deep web forum at this point? Aren't there bigger fish to fry than getting mad about a couple of videos of guys being (dumb) dudes?]]
(if: $longreads is 1)[(replace:?longreads)[**You chose to play it by the numbers for Best Long Reads** Readers seem happy to see their longform tastes confirmed and validated in the post, but for some reason no one seems to be clicking on the actual links to the stories.
Eventually, you get one kind email that explains it all. "Hey, loved the long reads section, but I already read these stories."]]
(if: $longreads is 2)[(replace:?longreads)[**You chose hidden gems** Choosing to hunt for hidden gems seems to have paid off. Reaction has more or less been, "Oh wow, I can't believe I missed all of these this year!"
But then that makes you think: Is there something you could be doing so that more people see these stories the first time they hit Digg dot com?]]
(if: $longreads is 3)[(replace:?longreads)[**You chose to feature your own work** Readers appreciate the Digg-produced feature stories — a fair amount remarking that they had no idea the website even did this.
But there are only so many slots in the section, which leads other readers and, painfully, your industry peers, to remark that you've left out a few obvious choices from other publishers.]]
(if: $blogs is 1)[(replace:?blogs)[**You chose to feature the best blogs** Mixed in with everything else that hits the Digg front page it's hard for readers to get a good sense of what Digg writes about.
But here, in a single section it's pretty clear. Readers comment on how they didn't realize just how much smart and funny writing comes from the Digg editorial staff.
For once, everyone feels validated. And that's nice.]]
(if: $blogs is 2)[(replace:?blogs)[**You chose memes** Even though you think your meme coverage has been carefully considered and presents unique new angles on a daily internet phenomenon, putting it all in a single place has... not worked out the way you think.
One internet reporter from Intelligencer tweets a screenshot of it and says "We did this in 2016." It racks up thousands of retweets. Great.]]
(if: $blogs is 3)[(replace:?blogs)[**You chose fun** As enoyable as it was to poke a little fun at yourself and remind people that Digg dot com is a website run by humans, you don't really see the same reaction from readers.
Exactly one person tweets a screenshot of the section and just says, "lol digg still exists??"]]
{(if: $choice1 is 'musk')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "musk ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'musk')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "musk ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'musk')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "musk ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'musk')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "musk ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'fortnite')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "fortnite ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'fortnite')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "fortnite ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'fortnite')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "fortnite ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'fortnite')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "fortnite ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'idw')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "idw ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'idw')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "idw ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'idw')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "idw ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'idw')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "idw ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'millennials')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "millennials ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'millennials')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "millennials ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'millennials')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "millennials ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'millennials')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "millennials ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'gritty')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "gritty ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'gritty')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "gritty ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'gritty')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "gritty ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'gritty')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "gritty ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'brands')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "brands ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'brands')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "brands ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'brands')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "brands ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'brands')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "brands ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'yannylaurel')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "yannylaurel ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'yannylaurel')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "yannylaurel ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'yannylaurel')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "yannylaurel ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'yannylaurel')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "yannylaurel ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'scam')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "scam ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'scam')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "scam ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'scam')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "scam ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'scam')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "scam ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'illusions')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "illusions ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'illusions')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "illusions ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'illusions')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "illusions ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'illusions')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "illusions ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'facebooktwitter')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "facebooktwitter ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'facebooktwitter')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "facebooktwitter ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'facebooktwitter')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "facebooktwitter ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'facebooktwitter')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "facebooktwitter ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'media')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "media ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'media')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "media ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'media')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "media ending")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'media')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "media ending")]]}
{(if: $choice1 is 'news')[(replace: ?trend1)[(display: "news ending good")]]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 'news')[(replace: ?trend2)[(display: "news ending good")]]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 'news')[(replace: ?trend3)[(display: "news ending good")]]\
(else-if: $choice4 is 'news')[(replace: ?trend4)[(display: "news ending good")]]}Who knew trying to sum up an entire year could prove to be so impossible and fraught?
Surely, if you just find the right mix of stories, trends and packaging, you can get it right.
[[Try again?->You stammer]]
[[Check out our editor's picks]]
(set: $finished to 1)The Summer Of Scam.
"The system's the scam you should be worried about," you remember some dude saying before he took a puff from a Juul, standing in the back patio of a crowded Brooklyn watering hole on a waning summer day (he then segued into explaining the blockchain).
You had brought up how fascinating you found <a href="https://www.thecut.com/2018/05/how-anna-delvey-tricked-new-york.html" target="_blank">the Anna Delvey story</a>, but this dude, serving up some warmed-over Occupy-era social critique told you it was "wrong-headed" to get so focused on the machinations of con artists, quote, "lest we end up celebrating their deeds."
Screw that! New York Magazine was right to coin "Summer of Scam" in the wake of the Delvey story, and if enjoying the continued fallout post-Fyre Festival and that Instragram model's wild Union Square dating show grift makes you a bad person, then so be it.
(link: "*Chanting* Scammers in the post! Scammers in the post!")[\
(set: $scam to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'scam')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'scam')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'scam')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'scam')]\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "What else do we have?")[\
(set: $scam to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]A bunch of optical illusions.
It's 2018 and people are still making (or, in lots of cases, remixing or rediscovering) optical illusions — and when a lot of the internet feels like a chore to look at, what's could be a better break from the noise than a little bit of brain-breaking fun?
Plus, it's not all GIFs of <a href="http://digg.com/2018/dots-strips-illusion-akiyoshi-kitaoka" target="_blank">dots going changing color without actually changing color</a> — sure, there are those, but there's also stuff like <a href="http://digg.com/2018/dysart-iowa-optical-illusion-project" target="_blank">the giant "chasm" running through Dysart, Iowa</a>, bringing breathtaking public art to a town that'd gladly welcome some respectful Instagram tourism.
(link: "Being tricked by illusions truly unites us all, they belong in the post.")[\
(set: $illusions to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'illusions')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'illusions')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'illusions')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'illusions')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "Eh, they're not the *most* timely. What else?")[\
(set: $illusions to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]Everyone delete Facebook and Twitter right now.
Do you really need to:
Give all your life milestones and other data to a company that's been exploited in multiple efforts to sway national elections?
See what your friends — or enemies — think about whatever's trending that day, on a platform that routinely drags its feet when it comes to banning literal Nazis?
Read another status update from your relative who, for some reason you don't want to know but are sure you'll discover sooner or later, has really gotten into watching documentaries about the occult and World War II?
Pile on another bad tweet, thereby contributing to The Ratio while still, at the end of the day, having made no dent in the bad tweeter's contemptible status as someone people pay any attention to?
Delete your accounts.
Do it.
<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/17/us/politics/cambridge-analytica-trump-campaign.html" target="_blank">How Trump Consultants Exploited The Facebook Data Of Millions</a>
<a href="https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryanmac/soros-facebook-definers-research" target="_blank">This Document Is Some Of The Research Facebook Commissioned On George Soros</a>
<a href="https://slate.com/technology/2018/11/vox-matt-yglesias-doxxed-twitter-address-tucker-carlson.html" target="_blank">A Vox Co-Founder Got Doxed On Twitter By A Hate-Spewing Incel, And Twitter Allowed It</a>
(link: "It really can't be said enough, so it goes in the post.")[\
(set: $facebooktwitter to 1)\
(set: $choices to $choices - 1)\
(if: $choice1 is 0)[(set: $choice1 to 'facebooktwitter')]\
(else-if: $choice2 is 0)[(set: $choice2 to 'facebooktwitter')]\
(else-if: $choice3 is 0)[(set: $choice3 to 'facebooktwitter')]\
(else:)[(set: $choice4 to 'facebooktwitter')]\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]
(link: "Better to talk as little about Jack and Zuck's hell sites as possible.")[\
(set: $facebooktwitter to 0)\
(go-to: "Tackle the trends section")\
]Here is where you get to put your stamp on this hell year, using the power of curation to comment on what mattered in 2018.
You must capture the essence of 2018 with just four sections highlighting trends from this year. Why only four? Well, that's just the way it is!
What's it going to be, Digg editor?
**[Choices left: (print: $choices)]**
|musk)[ [[Elon Musk had an interesting year.]]]{(if: $musk is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?musk)]
(else-if: $musk is 1)[(replace:?musk)[(background: "#80e619")[Elon Musk had an interesting year]]]
(else:)[(replace:?musk)[~~Elon Musk had an interesting year~~]]}
|fortnite)[ [[Fortnite was definitely a thing.]]]{(if: $fortnite is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?fortnite)]
(else-if: $fortnite is 1)[(replace:?fortnite)[(background: "#80e619")[Fortnite was definitely a thing]]]
(else:)[(replace:?fortnite)[~~Fortnite was definitely a thing~~]]}
|brands)[ [[Weird Brand Twitter is CANCELLED.]]]{(if: $brands is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?brands)]
(else-if: $brands is 1)[(replace:?brands)[(background: "#80e619")[Weird Brand Twitter is CANCELLED]]]
(else:)[(replace:?brands)[~~Weird Brand Twitter is CANCELLED~~]]}
|illusions)[ [[A bunch of optical illusions.]]]{(if: $illusions is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?illusions)]
(else-if: $illusions is 1)[(replace:?illusions)[(background: "#80e619")[A bunch of optical illusions]]]
(else:)[(replace:?illusions)[~~A bunch of optical illusions~~]]}
|idw)[ [[The Intellectual Dork Web.]]]{(if: $idw is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?idw)]
(else-if: $idw is 1)[(replace:?idw)[(background: "#80e619")[The Intellectual Dork Web]]]
(else:)[(replace:?idw)[~~The Intellectual Dork Web~~]]}
|news)[ [[Try to sum up the news in 2018 without going insane.]]]{(if: $news is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?news)]
(else-if: $news is 1)[(replace:?news)[(background: "#80e619")[Try to sum up the news in 2018 without going insane]]]
(else:)[(replace:?news)[~~Try to sum up the news in 2018 without going insane~~]]}
|gritty)[ [[Gritty is the mascot 2018 deserves.]]]{(if: $gritty is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?gritty)]
(else-if: $gritty is 1)[(replace:?gritty)[(background: "#80e619")[Gritty is the mascot 2018 deserves]]]
(else:)[(replace:?gritty)[~~Gritty is the mascot 2018 deserves~~]]}
|facebooktwitter)[ [[Everyone delete Facebook and Twitter right now.]]]{(if: $facebooktwitter is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?facebooktwitter)]
(else-if: $facebooktwitter is 1)[(replace:?facebooktwitter)[(background: "#80e619")[Everyone delete Facebook and Twitter right now]]]
(else:)[(replace:?facebooktwitter)[~~Everyone delete Facebook and Twitter right now~~]]}
|millennials)[ [[Millennials are killing everything boomers love.]]]{(if: $millennials is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?millennials)]
(else-if: $millennials is 1)[(replace:?millennials)[(background: "#80e619")[Millennials are killing everything boomers love]]]
(else:)[(replace:?millennials)[~~Millennials are killing everything boomers love~~]]}
|yannylaurel)[ [[Remember Yanny/Laurel?]]]{(if: $yannylaurel is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?yannylaurel)]
(else-if: $yannylaurel is 1)[(replace:?yannylaurel)[(background: "#80e619")[Remember Yanny/Laurel?]]]
(else:)[(replace:?yannylaurel)[~~Remember Yanny/Laurel?~~]]}
|scam)[ [[The Summer Of Scam.]]]{(if: $scam is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?scam)]
(else-if: $scam is 1)[(replace:?scam)[(background: "#80e619")[The Summer Of Scam]]]
(else:)[(replace:?scam)[~~The Summer Of Scam~~]]}
|media)[ [[Help us budget, our industry is dying.]]]{(if: $media is 0 and $choices >0)[(show:?media)]
(else-if: $media is 1)[(replace:?media)[(background: "#80e619")[Help us budget, our industry is dying]]]
(else:)[(replace:?media)[~~Help us budget, our industry is dying~~]]}
{(if: $choices is 0 )[(text-style: "rumble")[**[[Review Choices]]**]]}It's Tuesday, November 13.
You find yourself in a body that is not yours. In a place you don't recognize, surrounded by people you don't know.
[[Who am I?]]
(set: $choices to 4)
(set: $videos to 0)
(set: $longreads to 0)
(set: $blogs to 0)
(set: $musk to 0)
(set: $fortnite to 0)
(set: $idw to 0)
(set: $millennials to 0)
(set: $gritty to 0)
(set: $news to 0)
(set: $brands to 0)
(set: $yannylaurel to 0)
(set: $scam to 0)
(set: $illusions to 0)
(set: $facebooktwitter to 0)
(set: $media to 0)
(set: $diggscore to 0)
(set: $choice1 to 0)
(set: $choice2 to 0)
(set: $choice3 to 0)
(set: $choice4 to 0)**You chose Elon Musk** `Well, you probably should have seen this coming. Just for presenting a list of what Elon Musk actually got up to this year with minimal editorializing, your email inbox and Twitter were flooded by diehard Elon Musk fans.
One guy (and let's be clear, all the messages came from guys) sent you an obscene photo that appears to have been taken inside of a Model S.
Someone DM'd you threatening to burn your house down with a Boring Company "not" flamethrower, going so far as to list an address to find you at (a previous address — you've warned the current tenants, for whatever it's worth).
Mostly, you got a lot of messages demanding that you "name one thing you've done for society."
Great news, though — because a few influential Musk fanboys shared the post with one another, it seems to have helped with traffic. You really weren't trying to bait them, but this goes to prove they'll leap on even the most watered-down criticism of him.`**You chose The Intellectual Dork Web** `Instead of doing what you might expect, featuring the IDW in your year-end round-up only seems to further legitimize them.
For your trouble, the website gets, coincidentally, DDoS'd just a few hours after the post goes up, and you spend the next week trying to dig yourself out of your inbox and Twitter mentions.`**You chose Fortnite** `Well, there was no way you were NOT going include a section on Fortnite. Not to put it in there would have probably made you look a little out-of-touch.
Still, from what you can tell most readers just skipped over it, and the ones that do notice lightly tease you for your blunt, "How do you do, fellow kids?"-ass attempt at appealing to teens.`**You chose Millennials** `Bringing all the Millennials-Killing-Stuff trend stories in a single place throws in relief just how ridiculous it is.
But boomers print it out and use it as an excuse to argue against universal healthcare, higher minimum wage and company-matching 401(k) plans.`**You chose Gritty** `Crickets. As best we can tell, absolutely nobody cared that we gave Gritty a spotlight in the end-of-year post. No retweet from Gritty, and no shares from anybody repping the Flyers in their profile pics or bios.
So much for pandering to the intersection of black bloc praxis and Philadelphia sports fandom!
One might take this to surmise that Gritty's a dead meme, but there's another way to look at this: Gritty simply doesn't need our approval. Gritty will do just fine in 2019 without our lionization, and the world's better for it.`**You did not chose news** `Yes, this year has been hell, but choosing to just ignore everything that happened in the world is a bit silly.
Every day the day's headlines find themselves on Digg dot com, and your fellow editors work hard to sift through the news cycle to offer Digg readers a coherent picture of the news — either through curation or explaining particularly complicated stories themselves.
Deciding to not include a news section is both a snub to your fellow editors and a misrepresentation of what Digg is. Way to go.`**You chose brands** `The Steak-Umm account tweets about being mentioned, which is cool. It seems your section has kind of validated that "Weird Brand Twitter" is now a movement.
Over the next year every brand on Twitter is now "weird" — weaving relationships so tangled and complex that there is now a weekly recap of brand Twitter to keep people up on the drama.`**You chose Yanny/Laurel** `You can't really tell if people actually enjoyed revisiting 2018's hottest viral illusion.
In fact, everyone's reaction is more-or-less, "Wow, I can't believe this happened in 2018."`**You chose the Summer of Scam** `Two days after publishing the end-of-year post, the entire Digg staff receives email invites for an "influencer and media elite" party in the Hamptons, promising a night "perfect for people who get that bread" and "know how to party and network at the same time."
That night, you scan the event's hashtag on Instragram, bringing up a lot of photos of people who look like they could be famous influencers but have follower counts in the low thousands. One reporter you follow does go, and spends the entire night making Instagram stories from overheard comments about how the party overpromised and underdelivered ("when do we get our ice sculpture portraits done?").
Apparently, some of the influencers paid good money to be there. You set down your phone and go to bed early, pleased to know there'll be more scamming to read about soon.`**You chose illusions** `So, about that Optical Illusions section: Chartbeat shows that 90% of people who read the end-of-year post got the illusions and then just… stopped scrolling.
Not great that they didn't finish reading the post, but hey — the average time on page was great, so a lot of people must've really enjoyed the illusions we embedded? You win some, you lose some.`**You chose delete Facebook and Twitter** `Readers really agree that it's very important that everyone delete their Facebook and Twitter accounts, and they thank you for finally putting all the evidence in one place.
They're so passionate about this they... share your end-of-year post widely on Twitter and Facebook — thus making you only more beholden to the tech giants. Ah well, at least the traffic is nice.`**You chose media criticism** `Kudos for including the section on the imminent/in-progress collapse of the media. While it wasn't a terribly strong draw, enough people in media took notice and some unemployed folks used a Twitter thread about it to boost their own visibility. Here's hoping they get jobs soon.
Also, it reminded a lot of freelance writers that we not only (1) still exist and (2) publish features on the regular, but (3) we're not a half-bad place to write for.
Of course, as they're wont to do, a couple media company CEOs responsible for some of the harshest newsroom cullings in the past year screenshotted this section of the post and lamented the state of the industry, without any suggestion that they understood their role in its decline.
Sigh.`**You chose news** Hey, great job acknowleding that things happened this year and a lot of them were not great. Pretending otherwise would have been fairly silly!**<a href="https://medium.com/s/story/gen-x-remember-when-men-preferred-hanes-and-you-were-an-uptight-bitch-6ba6db0feb80" target="_blank">Relax, Ladies. Don’t Be So Uptight. You Know You Want It</a>**
''L.V. Anderson'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/LV_Anderson" target="_blankl">`@LV_anderson`</a>*
Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation hearings felt like the reopening of a massive national wound from 25 years ago that never fully healed, and at this point probably never will, at least not in my lifetime. In the weeks between when Christine Blasey Ford first went public with her allegation that a teenage Kavanaugh had attempted to rape her and Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court, I read a number of brilliant, clarifying essays about sexual assault and American misogyny — the one silver lining of a very dark cloud.
For me, the most clarifying of these essays was one that didn't even mention Ford or Kavanaugh's name: Anastasia Basil's Medium post titled "Relax, Ladies. Don’t Be So Uptight. You Know You Want It." In this tour de force argument for the ongoing necessity of feminism, Basil draws connections among 1980s Hanes ads, Rosemary Kennedy's lobotomy, Andrew Dice Clay's standup comedy and the Anita Hill hearings, among other cultural touchstones. The Kavanaugh hearings are over, but the wound is still there, and this essay is very much worth your time.
**<a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/09/03/the-mystery-of-people-who-speak-dozens-of-languages" target="_blank">The Mystery Of People Who Speak Dozens Of Languages</a>**
''Pang-Chieh Ho'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/pang_chieh" target="_blank">`@pang_chieh`</a>*
I've always been fascinated by languages, and Judith Thurman's New Yorker article offered me a rare glimpse into the world of hyperpolyglots, individuals who are capable of speaking dozens of languages. It's an article that looks into why some people seem to learn languages more easily than others and more importantly, it sheds light on this mysterious group of individuals, whose abilities remain very understudied and nebulously-defined.
**<a href="https://gizmodo.com/the-bizarre-scheme-using-viral-abuse-stories-and-stolen-1829173964" target="_blank">The Bizarre Scheme Using Viral Abuse Stories And Stolen Pics To Sell Diet Pills On Twitter</a>**
''Joey Cosco'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/jcosco" target="_blank">`@jcosco`</a>*
When people say 2018 was the year of the grift, they are often talking about big schemes pulled off by now-infamous fraudsters like Anna Delvey and the Fyre Fest guys. But this story from Gizmodo's Hudson Hongo revealed a different kind of scheme that hit a lot closer to home. The perp? Anonymous assclowns all across social media. The mark? Anyone with a heart. The story of "Sarah’s program" is a one about exploiting human beings' worst impulses and though it is dark, it is fascinating.
**<a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-an-ex-cop-rigged-mcdonalds-monopoly-game-and-stole-millions" target="_blank">How An Ex-Cop Rigged McDonald's Monopoly Game And Stole Millions</a>**
''Dan Fallon'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/da_fallon" target="_blank">`@da_fallon`</a>*
It's no surprise that the movie rights to Jeff Maysh's telling of Jerome Jacobson's story were snapped up in days — for a million dollars, by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Maysh's true crime saga of how Jacobson, the head of security for the company that printed McDonald's Monopoly game pieces, gamed the system he was supposed to be safeguarding is absolutely riveting stuff, which we'd think was fiction if we didn't know it was real.
**<a href="https://waypoint.vice.com/en_us/article/paq5bz/alt-doom-mod-stalker" target="_blank">The Doom Mod That Best Describes Our Uncanny Reality</a>**
''Mat Olson'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/mathewolson" target="_blank">`@mathewolson`</a>*
Liz Ryerson's essay on "Absolute Life Transformation" ("A.L.T."), an obscure mod for "Doom," is fascinating throughout, but it ends with an arresting passage on the intersection of video game culture and world politics. It's not a warmed-over "gamers gave us fascism" take, but a hopeful(?) case for embracing transgressive thought in art, generally, as a step towards dismantling the systems that cruelly shape society. I've revisited it not because Liz's writing makes me feel better about playing games or watching movies as the world burns; quite the opposite, because other "A.L.T.'s" are hard to find.
**<a href="https://www.wbur.org/onlyagame/2018/12/14/lin-wang-charles-barkley" target="_blank">My Dad's Friendship With Charles Barkley</a>**
''Adwait Patil'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/KZWZUZ" target="_blank">`@KZWZUZ`</a>*
Fans and consumers of sports are quick to judge the lives of athletes off the pitch. We often jump to conclusions based on Instagram posts and snippets of media that filter through to us via the Internet or television. The story of former NBA athlete Charles Barkley and his friendship with Lin Wang — which started at a hotel bar in Sacramento — is a heartwarming tale of an unlikely off-court relationship that often goes unnoticed.
**<a href="https://lukeoneil.substack.com/p/the-man-who-bowled-a-perfect-game-c37" target="_blank">The Man Who Bowled A Perfect Game On 9/11</a>**
''Steve Rousseau'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/steverousseau" target="_blank">`@steverousseau`</a>*
We are 17 years removed from September 11, 2001. For most people my age, it's probably the first real major tragedy we've lived through. There was Columbine, sure, but 9/11 is maybe the first we actually lived through.
I say this, because there is a complex swill of emotions I feel when I read the headline for Luke O'Neil's "The Man Who Bowled A Perfect Game On 9/11." And in his story, Luke acknowledges all of them. He knows that a guy bowling a perfect game on 9/11 scratches all the irony-poisoined parts of ours brains that had to process 9/11 while also going through puberty. He knows that we've all conditioned ourselves against overt patriotism, but also that, shit, we still believe in America too or something like that.
Most importantly, he knows that a guy bowling a perfect game on 9/11 doesn't really say anything about who or why or what America Really Is. It's just a story about a guy bowling a perfect game on 9/11.
**<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LqZdkkBDas" target="_blank">ContraPoints On Jordan Peterson</a>**
''Ryan Khosravi'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/ryepastrami" target="_blank">`@ryepastrami`</a>*
This video from Natalie "ContraPoints" Wynn about far-right, lobster king Jordan Peterson is, without a doubt, one of my most watched pieces of content for all 2018. Not only has Wynn amassed her own leftist platform on YouTube, a predominantly far-right space, but she's done so while intentionally engaging with those who disagree with her — this video is no different. That work is hard, and frankly I don't want to be the one to do it, so I'm glad she's here. I rewatch even her longest videos constantly, because it's just relaxing to watch smart people say smart things in a smart way.
**<a href="http://digg.com/video/dog-opera-singer" target="_blank">Dog Is Desperate To Share His Song With The World, We're Just Not Sure The World Is Ready For It</a>**
''Eliza Bray'' *<a href="https://twitter.com/eliza_bray" target="_blank">`@eliza_bray`</a>*
This video far and away brought me the most joy this year, moving me to tears several times. So pure. So sweet. Truly, the voice of an angel.
[[Play again?->You stammer]]
*You Are A Digg Editor was written and produced by Mat Olson and Steve Rousseau. Special thanks to L.V. Anderson, Pang-Chieh Ho, Joey Cosco and the rest of the Digg team for brainstorming, testing and copyediting. If you enjoyed this please add Digg.com to your bookmarks.*